Perception
by Hainesicle
Summary: In his last moment, just when he was about to loathe the Gods, warm arms hugged him. Only at that moment did Gintoki thank God.


Gintama: Perception

 _"Just like how the whole human world mysteriously healed itself within days, the pain remains within them. The white plague was gone."_

One-shot:

 **Perception**

* * *

The battle was close. Not one of them showing any signs of toning it down. From the endless sparring, a man wrapped in bandages and a mysterious aura hugging the man hidden in the shadows of his headpiece stood straight. Gintoki who was in defensive stance felt it all too familiar.

He could predict what was next and so did the shrouded man managed to evade every swift motion of his sword. Gintoki would try all the tricks up his sleeve. Doing fake attacks, grabbing near-by swords, he was now handling two swords once. One on each hand, his stance was beautiful.  
By his right hand, he raised and aligned it to his shoulders. While the other was down and tilted slightly. His feet ached by the friction of his bare feet and the floor meeting each other in fast movements. He was fast but so was his enemy.

Gintoki couldn't get rid of a weird feeling. It was some what holding him from doing any more. Not like he wasn't monstrous enough but his enemy was just too equal to him and it gets difficult to go anywhere in a battle like this.

However it is Gintoki.

He could always look for a black hole in everything. Just as he realized, he knew too well the weakness of the other. It was too easy. It was a gamble but it worked. The same weakness as him, it only took him one try and it worked.

As the wooden sword soon pierced the abdomen of the enmi, Gintoki swiftly removed the woven hat off his head. He wasn't surprised to see the same dead red eyes as his. Almost like looking through a mirror. But then the scripted markings and obviously more whitened hair draped over his bloodied forehead made him realize. It was himself. He was the cause for the destruction in the world he tried so hard to deny of protecting.

Gintoki smiled sadly at his future's end. To think that he worked so hard just to kill himself.

 _'What a way to commit suicide.'_ He thought to himself.

"It's the end." He said in a sorrow tone, his future self slowly fell against him. It felt weird, grasping your own body and feeling his cold skin.

"Since I know myself, I'll lead you to them." Gintoki felt sympathy for himself.

He eventually figured it out before delivering the final blow. He figured, it would be best to throw a blow that would kill himself slowly. Although it would be unbelievably painful, he knew himself. He would've liked to stay alive before saying his farewell to everyone before he finally dies. Walking heavy steps as blood smeared on the ground which created a trail.

"I know how it feels. It was lonely, wasn't it?"

Although they were slow, they made it. The only hospital working in the human world right now. Passing by the empty hallways, steps echoing and the sound of blood dripping it took the, quite a while before they finally arrived.

As they stopped right in front of the door, the man in his arms tried to let out something.

"Otae, huh." He said smiling sadly.

"I'm sorry and thank you." He said while looking back at his past self, his hand landing on the cheek of his former body.

His lips continued to move without any sounds. A message only to himself in the past. Gintoki took quite a few seconds to realize what he just said.

 _'Don't be like me.'_

Gintoki entered the room, there lies Otae's sleeping body. White strands framed her thin body. Gintoki let his future self's body rest beside her bed, near enough for him to reach her. Blood continued to gush out as he looked onto to her sadly.

"I'm sorry." He said again, while she woke.

Almost silently, Gintoki exited the room meeting a familiar lot at the entrance of the door.

"I brought him back for you." With that he left.

The lot immediately rushed to go in the room. A bloody man sat beside the bed desperately reaching out to hold the hand of Otae. Something was different. No one dared to move, the sight itself was a surprise. But then Otae's hair gradually lost its white color. It was turning brown, back to its original color. Until one of them finally realized what he was trying to do.

"Stop it Gin-san." He knelt down and gently removed his hand from Otae's.

The moment he took a glance at Gintoki tears formed. The cursed markings in his face made his stomach curl. It was painful. The face Shinpachi was making made Kagura wonder. She soon followed and held Gintoki's other hand. They were really cold and rough. The bandages around his limbs were dirtied, both by blood and dirt.

"Let's get you treated, okay?" She said while her voice trembled.

"You'll be aright." Tears whelling at her lids. The others watched hunched backs, they knew very well what was happening or about to happen.

"It's okay." Gintoki said in a weak voice. Shinpachi soon replied, "No, we have to-" although he was cut off by Gintoki.

"I'm tired." Gintoki gently patted his brother's head. Ever so lightly, his hand weighed like nothing. Shinpachi could've sworn Gin's hand was on his head but it wasn't weighing on him at all.

"Why don't we go outside?" Kagura suggested smiling. Her voice wasn't. Tears flowing down like a waterfall, Gin smiled sadly at her ridiculous expression. Gin nodded.

The sun was beautiful, a bright orange was shining. The sky was a shade of red and it was utmost gorgeous. It was warm, they were on the riverbank near their house. Gintoki was being carried by a few familiar friends. The shinsengumi guys were waiting outside the hospital room since they followed the bloodied trail thanks to his wounds. Hijikata, Kondo and Sougo knew it was him.

"I'll carry him." Hijikata offered.

"I'll have to arrest you for spreading this damned disease, idiot." Hijikata managed to let out his not so honest words. Okita sighed as he heard these.

"Kagura was really worried, Danna." Sougo added with a playful tone.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could say, in such a soft volume.

It irked Hijikata at how helpless he was. Both of them. Hijikata could feel himself shake as he couldn't feel the body he was carrying. Again, far too light. Holding onto his legs as he carried him, he was holding onto skin and bones. Thinking that he battled his past self with such a body, it was only a miracle.

"Make sure these kids don't end up in jail, 'kay?" Gintoki managed to stretch out his left hand to reach Sougo's shoulder and so he nodded shortly.

The two did have their own unique bond between them. Sougo felt his own share of sadness deep in his heart as he cried inside as well. His strong farce won't give out though and Gin knew this. They were similar after all.

They let him down on the grass as the trio retreated still near them sitting down as well. Shinpachi and Kagura followed them shortly and the others sightly behind them. Gintoki looked onto the sky, it was far too long when he last felt the breeze and the sun's warmth. A hand grabbed his arm as he twitched as the sudden touch. It was Tsukuyo.

"I'll remove these for you." She said in her usual stern tone, offering to remove the dirtied bandages around his fingers and arms. Gin noticed Tsukuyo's new hair. Well it was knew to him.

Gin worded, _'Hair.'_

Tsukuyo easily spotted it and smiled. "Yeah."

She said in such a warm tone that Gin was fairly surprised. Again, the guilt was consuming, how he could've missed all these potential memories but then he wasn't sad. Apparently, he was happy.

A man with dark long hair, Katsura and his feminine appearance didn't fail to assure Gintoki that it was indeed his comrade.

"Gin, do you hate God?" An out of place question.

The others merely looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. They all though it wasn't really such a question to ask at his last moments. Yet the expression Gin was showing startled them all the more.

"I don't dislike God." Gintoki said smiling. No one understood why he said that.

Out of the blue Katsura replied. "You of all people, should have hated God and this world the most."

"But... Isn't God great?" Gin was almost doing this on purpose. Katsura never really despised God. But he hated him for letting people like Gin experience every bad thing in the world.

"The longer I know you. The more I get confused." A sad smile of defeat surfaced on Katsura's face.

"He gave me the chance to see all of you for the last time." With that, everyone turned silent.

"Through those years, I thought I would die alone. No one ever knowing, but then in the end, I get to save the last of humanity and also see you idiotic lot. It's a gift." He said with the happiest smile on his face.

Those that could see this felt all too grateful. They never saw him smile this way.

"How was it that everyone is here?" Still managing to destroy the mood with his lame gags, as always.

"You were all secretly wanting to see me die weren't you?" Laughing all by himself while the other smiled along with deep sadness.

"Sadly, not everyone. The eye patch and laughing idiot of ours are out of this world."

"Right." He figured.

The sun started to go down. It was getting darker and his blood continued to flow. The markings on top of his skin started to fade. Gin seemed quiet. Shinpachi and Kagura rushed to his side, still crying.

"Disgusting. Hey, keep those snot faces off me." He said as their tears landed on his worn out clothes. The markings are almost gone which revealed the real curse marks on his body. The bandages that were covering his limbs are now gone with the help of Tsukuyo which helped show whatever else he was hidding.

It told his story, everything. Those years of isolation and him trying to die. His attempts and failed marks. They were all frozen. Sarutobi finally broke down as she choked in between her sobbing she was quiet until now. Gin softly swept away the tears and smiled. He was too gentle. It made them realize his tiredness and wanting to die. Although it hurt them, the pain was just too much to bear.

"I've killed far too many, I can't stay living." Gintoki explained his inability to continue on. Honestly, he could have chosen to heal himself at the hospital and at some degree, remain living with them but for him, his sin was far too big.

"It wasn't you. You weren't the one killing!" Kondo shouted. Sougo held his commander's arm, a sign to calm himself down.

"It might've not be me, but they used my body. I had my part." It was true. His helplessness was too much. Seeing the mass of people getting infected because if him.

"That wasn't the only time I killed. I guess you've figured that by now." Showing quite sad expressions.

"This way, I could have accomplished at least one thing." They wondered what he meant.

"What? No, you haven't done anything but useless things, Gin-chan!" Kagura pleaded him as she desperately hang onto him not ever letting go.

"Hey, that's mean." Gintoki hugged the alien daughter of his.

"That's right. All he's been doing is wasting all our money in pachinko and JUMP!" Shinpachi raised his glasses. "You've spent so much on JUMP, then you have to collect all of them alright?" He said as he let his snot drip down.

"Yeah."

The kids were desparate. The others would cry silently at the sight of them pleading in such dishonest ways. Silence filled the area but the sound of sobbing.

"...Did I do a great job?" Gin reached out for the two. The sun was settling down.

Kagura realized Gin having a difficult time bringing his own hand up. Her sobs were getting louder, she couldn't answer him anymore. Instead, she gave eager nods.

"Hey, you too." She dragged Shinpachi in for a hug.

The three were like that for a moment. Gintoki's heartbeat was getting slower. The two can feel it. They feared it. They wanted to hear its sound forever.

"I did it." Gin spoke with a weak tone.

"My promise to sensei."

Katsura's eyes widened.

"I protected everyone, didn't I?"

Shinpachi was shaking. This was crazy, his whole body could no longer function. But the look Kagura was giving him gave him that last push.

"Gin-san." "Gin-chan."

"Dad."

"We love you."

The two said in unison. The others watched warmly. It was like a family.

Gintoki finally let his tears flow.

His eyebrows furrowed. Tightly, ever so tight, he hugged his children with all his strength.

"Such troublesome children." Gintoki chuckled and with one last cluster of energy, with the sweetest tone that could ever leave his lips.

"I love you. Thank you."

Just as they all mourned, Otae woke up. She felt as if her body was new and young. She didn't feel weak at all. There beside her was kyubey sleeping.

"Kyubey, what happened? Just what-" She was surprised, tears started dripping from her chin.

"Am I crying?" She knew well what just happened.

She had a dream. That he was there. That Gin held her hand and took all the pain away.

"It can't be." Her sobs getting louder. Kyubey soon woke up and hugged her.

Although she was healed the pain never disappeared. Just like how the whole human world mysteriously healed itself within days, the pain remains within them. The white plague was gone.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry in advance.


End file.
